Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What factors contributed to The Beatles' bitterness?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Did another parent ever tell you something about your child that you didn’t know?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

How much stronger is an average man than an average woman?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Can they start feeding only one meal to prisoners on death row or those doing a life sentence? Because only then will it be real punishment. If they want extra food they can work or pay from their own pocket.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fakery

How can I remove decimals in math?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why do I sweat so much after applying moisture or sun screen on my face? I have normal skin.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What are some cool confidence hacks?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I see through liars

Why did lobsters evolve bright colors if they are neither poisonous nor venomous?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When did you realize that your childhood was not normal?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Does eating bread before bed make you fat? If so, why?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Should I have left it alone and kept quiet? I came out as gay to my adult kids last week. Age 61 married 15 years, divorced for 20. I feel so guilty for ruining their lives by living a lie.

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why can't they repair the damage caused by Elon Musk renaming Twitter to X?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have a reading level above third grade

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes